A friend of mine sent an email to Mayor Ardis this morning, and Mayor Ardis replied in a rather amusing manner. See below:

(Name omitted),
I’ll be glad to help. City Hall is closed today, but touch bases with our Communications Director Alma Brown on Monday and she can put you in touch with the different people you’ll need to talk to about parade permits, etc.
Alma’s direct line is 494-8554. I wish I could make the game that night, but I have a previous commitment. Even die-hard Cardinal fans like me are excited about having Ryne Sandberg managing the Chiefs this year and look forward to a great season.
Cannonball !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ja

Jim Ardis wrote:
Attached is an email forwarded from your City of Peoria account.Subject:
City Suggestion Regarding Peoria Chiefs – Opening Day – Friday, April 13,
2007
To: ********
CC: *********
From: (name omitted)
Date: Fri, 6 Apr 2007 09:52:28 -0400

Good Friday Morning Greetings Mayor Ardis!

I am greatly looking forward to the Peoria Chiefs home opener on Friday, April 13th and the introduction of Manager Ryne Sandberg to Peoria! It sounds like it’s going to be an exciting evening of Chiefs baseball full of wonderful extras for the fans and our great city. I plan to be one of the many that come out to O’brien Field to pack the house!

It’s not often that a team guarantees a win with the promise of free admission should they lose. I am hoping for some pleasant Spring weather and a home victory. I am sure that they will go all out with the post-game fireworks display as well and I always love the opportunity to see the Peoria skyline lit up in such a celebratory fashion!

It has also been brought to my attention that the Budweiser Clydesdale Horses will be present to help launch their 25th anniversary season. Great idea! I couldn’t help but think that this might be an excellent opportunity for the city to get together via some sort of community event .
. like say . . .maybe a PARADE!

Everyone loves a parade, especially one with Clydesdale Horses! What better way to kick of this fantastic event then to have these colossal creatures lead our community down to our grand stadium?! As a proud citizen of Peoria, I can think of none.

We would, of course, also need some exceptional and upstanding community figureheads to represent our wonderful city in the parade (maybe they could actually RIDE the Clydesdales!!!! – I’m sure that there is a permit that is easily obtained?!) and the thought occurred, “What better representatives could we find for the City of Peoria then the endearing Markley & Luciaino?!” Though often modest and diffident, I am sure that if asked, this winning pair would willingly rise to the occasion and join their merry Cannonball festivities with this brilliant event!

So, I just thought that I would quickly email you this morning, as our fine City representative, with the suggestion, as I am sure that such an event would take a great deal of City planning. Any thoughts or feedback that you might have regarding such a happening would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you, Mayor Ardis, for your commitment and devotion to the people of Peoria! Your hard work and dedication are greatly appreciated.

Have a great morning and a Happy Easter!

Cannonballingly yours,

“Unkle” (Name omitted)
Peoria, Illinois

Update: This is escalating really quickly.

Update #2: How much can a parade permit cost, anyway?

Update #3: Markley and Luciano opened their show by reading the emails above. Freaking priceless.

Update #X: This whole parade thing is coming together. Please listen to the M&L podcast from Friday April 6th. Luciano is going to ride a very large draft horse. This shit is GOING DOWN!!!