Morton Malaise

Right now, my pictures from Summercamp are in process of uploading. They should be done in 10 or 15 minutes. For those who would like to see, you can find them here. Until I spring for a Pro account, only the 200 most recently uploaded pictures will show up.

I’ve been memed, which obliges me to list five reasons why I started blogging. I hope I can come up with answers as articulate as Peoria Illinoisan has, but I get the feeling I won’t. Here goes.

1.) When I very, very first started blogging over on Journalscape, I didn’t really expect anything to come of it. I generally only added entries when I was really, really drunk, and most of them were either really depressing or extremely angry. The rest were song lyrics. I’ve gone back and looked at some of the things I wrote, and it scares me to think I was ever that down on myself and hateful. I’ve changed a lot over the last few years, and I think a lot of it has to do with growing up. Realizing life’s too short to be pissed off and feel sorry for yourself all the time is an important landmark in life. I think my blogging provides me an important reminder of that fact.

2.) A lot of really, really funny things happen around me. Having a record of the situations and stories that made me laugh is a good thing. Once I get around to posting the Summer Camp shenanigans, I’ll be able to laugh at them for a very long time. NOT IN THE TENT!!!!

3.) I’ve been told that my blog makes other people laugh. The laughter of others is more important than my own, even if it is occasionally at my expense. I don’t know if 2 and 3 should be together or not. I think not.

4.) I want to be one of the cool kids. I started smoking, drinking, driving fast, joined an emo band, and blogging all at the same time.

5.) I felt like I had something to say, but no real way to say it. Sure, I could keep notebook after notebook full of my aimless rants, but I can type a lot faster than I can write. Many times my brain will be going so fast, by the time the pen catches up I’ll have forgotten what I was going to say.

I don’t really know who’s left to tag, so I’ll leave that part out.

Early reports coming out of Summercamp indicate there is heavy profiling and police harassment taking place. People are getting pulled over without probable cause from Henry to Peoria. Estimates indicate two ambulances and 10 arrests, and we’re only a couple hours into the Friday bands.

More on this after I get back. I’m going out there to get drunk and enjoy some damn good music. The Man ain’t gonna get me down, not this weekend. Plus, I have a poncho now!!

Update: Early reports seem to have been grossly exaggerated. Police presence was extremely minimal throughout the weekend, probably because it wasn’t needed. I’ve never experienced 10,000 people all being happy at the same time. More to come later.

I was sitting on the throne today at work, and I came across a letter in the OpEd section from a woman who objected to students @ Dunlap being rewarded for doing well on a test, while students that scored below a certain level didn’t get to go. She felt that these students were being punished when they were “trying just as hard.”

Are you fucking kidding me? This is the exact reason why we have millions of shithead spoiled pricks running around between the ages of 15 and 40. People that say things like, “I quit my job because my boss was always telling me what to do,” and “I’m not working for minimum wage when I can pop 3 kids and make more money off of welfare.”

Let me tell you something, lady. Standardized tests in high school are not that hard. I don’t count the SAT or ACT in this group, as they are optional. If your child a.)Attends school regularly, b.) Does not use massive amounts of narcotics, and c.) Can spell their own name, they should be able to pass the test. Now, I’m not familiar with the standards that students are asked to meet in order to go on the Six Flags trip, but IMHO, it doesn’t matter. Since when is it wrong to reward students for performing at a higher level than their peers? When they get to the real world, do the lower scoring students expect a raise at their job because they “tried their hardest”? God, I hope not. If you try and don’t perform, you probably need to find another line of work. You can’t expect the employer to drop their standards to let the runt catch up.

Why are people so damn thin-skinned and sensitive anymore? These parents are so worried about their kids’ feelings getting hurt, they’re willing to risk their ability to survive in the real world for it? Does that strike anyone else as fucked up?

Pistons just won, they’re moving on to the Conference Finals. Wee.

The Cubs just blew a 4 run lead in the bottom of the 9th and lost 6-5. Ryan Dempster’s ERA for this game is 135. Not 1.35. One hundred and thirty-five. I could get a 135 ERA in the majors.The Cubs are the same abysmal blowhards they’ve been for the last 100 years.

Why, God? Why?

In closing, I would just like to say AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally Friday! I will be heading directly from work to the Wing-Off tonight. Brando and Unk will already be there, as one of them has no job and the other one gets to leave work earlier than me. However, Unk has also been assigned “Help Troy” duty, which could be anything from serving wings to a handjob, so we’ll have to see how much fun he really gets to have.

A little bird told me that local columnist/teacher/radio personality/creepy guy in sportcoat Phil Luciano will be judging the competition. Hopefully, there are still some wings left when I get there.

Supposedly, my mother and her boyfriend and two of my cousins and their husbands are going to come down. Anyone else planning on coming? Pere Marquette, 430 until 7. $5 at the door, wings, cash bar. I just hope they have a big screen so I can watch the Red Wings game. It’s the conference finals, God sakes.

Seriously, outside of New England, is there a single person alive that feels a legendary pitcher who is now past his prime, fat on steroids, and overpaid, getting signed by the Yankees deserves the first 20 minutes of Baseball Tonight? Josh Hancock, pitcher for the current World Champion, dies in a tragic accident (sure, he may have been drunk, but still.), he gets a 2-minute blurb. Roger “Fat Billy from Ohio” Clemens gets signed to a one year deal (which, by the way, isn’t a full year, and will be pro-rated by how many months he plays), and every baseball analyst and their mother has something to say. If he could’ve found a cardboard cut-out of Roger Clemens, I’m pretty sure Peter Gammons would’ve fellated it on national television. I do NOT want to wait until the show is half over to see the highlights from the teams that ACTUALLY HAVE WINNING RECORDS!!! The entire world does not revolve around the AL East.

The AL Central is widely accepted as the toughest division in baseball. Joe Mauer got placed on the 15-day DL yesterday, a HUGE loss for the Twins, and a sure opportunity for the Tigers to put some distance between themselves and the Twins. The Cubs have won 8 of their last 9, and are now a game over .500. The Tigers have won seven in a row, Chris Carpenter is out for the year, Derek Lee is hitting over .400. All of these things would’ve made better lead stories.

But then again, what do I know? I don’t live on the East Coast anymore.