Morton Malaise

Name the early summer festival described here:
At least 10,000 in attendance, travelling from all over the country. Caters to people of all ages. several stages with massive amounts of bands. hippies. vendors selling tie-dye. Illegal narcotics and mind-altering substances readily available for a reasonable price if you know where to look. Camping on-site.
According to [...]

…is going to be completely batshit crazy. Thursday is my birthday, and since it falls on a Thursday and not a Friday or Saturday, I will be spending it with my family.
Friday night, I will be at the Winchester in East Peoria to REALLY celebrate my birthday. I think I invited most of you, [...]

This video is 5 seconds long. I dare you not to watch it 40 times.

I have grown rather tired and quite nauseous with our “modern” rock station. I will now share with all of you the reasons why.
1.) Your tower is no longer new. Please stop telling us about it between every song and every commercial.
2.)There is no need to continually remind us how much kick ass rock [...]

I stand with my feet square, shoulder width apart,
And I look across you, America.
From my front door, I see all of you.
I see your rivers and your plains,
Your mountains
And your billowing smokestacks.
I see what our forefathers saw, 230 years ago, so full of hope for
A nation of vigor and sincerity,
And my eyes swell with tears.
A [...]

There is a great event going on at the Riverfront this weekend, called the Universal Rhythm Assembly. Well, the music is going to great. As with everything in life, the bad comes with the good. The purpose of the event is to “…showcase many different special interest groups involving everything from the ecosystem we live [...]

For those who don’t pay attention to Myspace bulletins, my party on the 29th has been cancelled until further notice. The tenants of the home, who are friends of mine, are a bit nervous about getting any more noise complaints. I can certainly understand their quandry, as they’ve had two or three neighbors come over [...]

Bottom of the ninth inning. Magglio Ordonez on third. One out. Down 6-5. 1 game back in the AL Central. Now is NOT a good time for TWO STRIKEOUTS IN A FUCKING ROW!!!! Just a thought. I’m no Billy Beane (Sabermetrics Billy Beane, not Gay Billy Bean), but simple common sense would tell me that [...]

Well, I suppose now that it happened like two weeks ago, I should write something about Summercamp. First and foremost, it was the three most fun days (this sentence is so grammatically awkward, and probably wholly wrong) I’ve had in a very long time. Most-well, all of my festival-type concert experiences have been drawn from [...]

Things I am sick of hearing about from the girls in my office:
1.) The menstrual cycle. This includes all discussion of sanitary products used specifically during “Aunt Flo’s visit.” (Yes, they do refer to it in this manner. I find it a bit appaling.)
2.) How bloated you are because you are premenstrual.
3.) How many Weight [...]