…is going to be completely batshit crazy. Thursday is my birthday, and since it falls on a Thursday and not a Friday or Saturday, I will be spending it with my family.

Friday night, I will be at the Winchester in East Peoria to REALLY celebrate my birthday. I think I invited most of you, but in the event that I missed you on myspace or you don’t have myspace, everyone is welcome. I plan on getting there around 7 or 730. It’s my birthday, buy me a fucking Car Bomb.

Saturday morning I have to get up early (before noon) and go to the DDL for a new license, as mine expires on Thursday. I can’t wait to stand in line with all of those weirdos nursing a hangover. I also have to get new stickers for my license plates, as those expire at the end of this month as well. Nothing like the last minute!

Saturday afternoon/early evening (630), I will be at the Chiefs game, compliments of my employer. Also compliments of my employer is the free beer and buffet. I am on a mission to float the kegs before they stop serving.

Sometime around 830, I will have to leave said baseball game and head for Dunlap, where Troy is having his annual 4th of July Roman-style ass sex orgy. No, not really. It’s actually just a big party with lots of alcohol and fireworks. Last year the field caught on fire and the bonfire blew all over the yard. It was awesome. Anyway, we’ll camp out there, and probably wake up around 9 and start chugging Troy’s AWARD-WINNING Bloody Marys. Mind you, it’s sure to be unbearably hot, and there’s no shade for miles. Nothing like 50 drunks sweating liquor at once.

It’s sure to be a good time. I won’t say I’ll recap later, because some of what happens may be of questionable legality. Cannonball!!!!