Reasons “mentally unstable” (read batshit) pantless guy may have jumped in the river:

- Free shower!

- Sounded like fun at the time.

- Being attacked by a swarm of Africanized bees.

- Those kooky Bradley kids threw his pants in the river, and thought it was hilarious!

- REALLY wanted to go to Texas Roadhouse, couldn’t figure out how to get back up to that damn bridge.

- Completely batshit crazy.