Morton Malaise

…Has been one of the best times of my life. I met someone, and she’s amazing. However, Ms. Elizabeth has asked that I not blog about her yet, so that’s all I can really say. She is the main reason I haven’t been blogging much lately.

In other news, I will be attending the Blues Festival Friday night and all day Saturday. Peoria Illinoisan has expressed some interest in going. Anyone else? It would be great to see some of you down there. After the Blues Festival Saturday night, I will be heading to Crusen’s on Farmington Rd to catch the last half of what looks to be Cody’s last show with Stepdown. Sunday night, I’m hoping to get a big group together for an evening at the Winchester. After all, no school/work on Monday!

My friend Kate recently put an entry in her blog about how unbelievably busy she is. I admire her greatly for finding the time and motivation to do all the things she does. It really made me start thinking, as a bachelor with no kids, what do I REALLY have to do every day? I made a list. It’s not real long.

1.) Get to work on time. I’m 30-60 minutes late once every couple of months.

2.) Feed myself. I often go from lunch on Friday to Sunday evening without eating. When one drinks all weekend, one often forgets to eat. If I wake up hungry on Saturday or Sunday, I’ll usually grab a drink.

3.) Bathe. I’m good about that one.

4.) Take care of myself. In one week, I drink around 50 beers, smoke 5 packs of cigarettes, eat 4-5 fast food lunches, and get zero exercise.

That’s really about it. As one can plainly see, it’s a damn good thing I don’t have kids.

Oh yeah, but I get to do whatever I want, when I want, as long as it doesn’t interfere with work.

Let me preface what I am about to say with this: What happened to Danny Dahlquist is absolutely terrible. I extend my most sincere condolences to his family, friends, and classmates in a time when they must all be in indescribable shock and mourning.

Bill Dennis seems to think that only the rich kids get to screw around and do dumb stuff at college. I can personally attest to the inaccuracy of this statement. When we engaged in what was, looking back, absolutely retarded and reckless behavior at my university, all walks of life were present and accounted for. I don’t know anyone that didn’t do something absolutely moronic at some point while they were in college. I can imagine three of my friends doing the exact same thing the Bradley students did to Danny.

These three young men must feel like the most horrible, disgusting animals on the face of the earth. The remorse in their soul is something I can’t even begin to imagine.This being said, I don’t feel that charging them with capital murder is appropriate, or even second degree. Manslaughter is a far more appropriate charge for the circumstances.

Their lives are already ruined. They will certainly be expelled from Bradley, and will probably serve some jail time. While they will have the opportunity to gain certain certifications while incarcerated, they will NEVER be admitted to any major university again, public or private. I can say this with relative certainty, as a good friend of mine, who was a genius and had never been in trouble in his life, served five years for a few felonies. He did get some sort of certification for IT work while in prison, but long ago set aside any hopes of a college degree.

I’ve heard a few people draw comparisons between this incident and the young man that dropped the concrete block off of the I-74 overpass. This is completely unfair, and race has NOTHING to do with it. It has to do with malice and intent. I can see myself (as I’m sure many of you can), standing outside the bedroom door with a Roman candle, giggling like a little girl. I might have second thoughts, because I know how hot those things get, and any contact with a mattress or carpeting could be disastrous. I also understand that not everyone has the large sphere of seemingly trivial knowledge that I do. When the boy dropped the concrete from the overpass, he saw the car coming, and there was no possible result other than catastrophe. While there was a chance of disaster at the house on Laura Ave., it was not inevitable, and certainly not the objective, as it was with the concrete.

While I, along with the rest of the community, am completely outraged and disgusted by the crime, cooler heads need to prevail. In this case, I think a little leniency, a manslaughter charge, and 5-10 with time off for good behavior are the right steps to take. I know many of you will disagree vehemently, and I welcome your comments.

I know that what I’ve said here might be misconstrued, so if you have a question of what I intend to say, PLEASE ask. As I said before, I in NO WAY want to mitigate the terrible tragedy of a young man losing his life in this way. I do feel that there are circumstances surrounding the incident that need to be taken into account before these three young men are strung from a tree limb by a torch-carrying mob.

I’ve heard older friends tell me these stories, about the big ton of bricks that hit them and make them feel like they’ve crossed the line from young to old. I was at the Taste of Peoria tonight. There were massive heads there to see the Gin Blossoms. I saw all these high school age kids, and I realized something…All these kids were like 5 when the Gin Blossoms broke big. They never saw the Allison Road video with the lead singer all long-haired and attacking the camera. All they know is the Gin Blossoms they hear now, and the show they saw tonight, with the lead singer looking all late 30’s. Am I alone here? Does anyone remember their videos, where he was early to mid-20’s, with long hair and vigor? How he rushed the camera in the waning moments of MTV, with his long hair? Christ. I remember early in high school, when I was listening to Metallica-esque mainstream hard rock and calling them pussies, and I remember when I started college in 1998, and got into Black Lab and Chalk Farm and Toad the Wet Sprocket, and started appreciating the sound they played. Man, I feel old.

As an addendum, Katie missed out. Sorry, girl, just had to rub that in.I DID leave you a nice voicemail of them doing the song you wanted to hear.

Sidenote: Yeah, there’s a lot of bad language. I debated replacing itreplaced some of it, but the anger of the piece will get lost if I go any further.Those of you who know me know what I mean.

I want to shake this mortal coil.
Everything that I feel and hold in this place hurts me.
I’m over it.
I got no one to talk to who understands what I have to say.
This place my head stands isn’t pretty.
None of you can help.

I scream my lungs out without saying a word any motherfucker can hear.
I’m so sick of being misunderstood,
misplaced,
underestimated,
hiding behind the laughs I bring to everyone.
I stay up all night, running from the morning that approaches, so rapid and so scary.
Another God damned day,
another sunrise and sunset that smile on everyone,
another stupid joke that I crack,
another one of your laughs that hide me from myself.

I’m done.

Fuck a dollar and a dream.

I’m not going to sit in this fucking cubicle that our place has created, letting this fluorescent light rot my soul.
I’m sending my soul somewhere else.

I’m gonna yell LIFE from the Mother Fucking mountaintop.
I’m gonna stand in another universe,
and bask in the sunlight that this world refuses to afford me.
I’m the fucking major chord that Rock won’t afford you.

I’m that warm breath that you gasp for every Fucking Day.

I’m gonna be that little rush of adrenaline that harmonics rattle in your ear.
I’m gonna take a guitar,
I’m gonna take a drum,
and I’m gonna strum a string on a bass and wake Man the Fuck up.

I’m gonna stand in that perfect chord,
that perfect drum riff,
that bass progression that
pulls your ribs out your muthafuckin’ chest.

I wanna be that bass beat comin’ out the fucking PA that
pulls the asses off their chairs and makes the heels hit the dance floor.

I’m gonna suck the air right out of your lungs, and shove that air right back in the blue blood of music.

I want to be that long-haired drunk, I want to be that baggy-pant kandy chick, I want to be that little redneck girl…

Stand amongst the heart of your music, sit down in the warm breadth of the beat, and cry out for the feeling you gone done forgot, ’cause it’s a beat that weeps for something we’ve already forgotten to lose.

THE CUBS ARE IN FIRST!!!!! HOLY CRAP!!!!

This is either going to be the greatest two months in my baseball fan career, or I’m setting myself up for a giant letdown a la the Year of Bartman. The Cubbies and the Tigers are both in first place AT THE SAME TIME. If not for the fear of jinxing one of them, I might actually start thinking about the bittersweet dilemma I’ll face if they end up playing against each other in the World Series. But I dare not think of such things. The very fabric of my universe could be torn apart.

This weekend is shaping up to be a doozy! While I haven’t made plans for Friday night, there is going to be one hell of a party at La Casa del Du…Do..fuck. Duzor I think. Party goes Saturday afternoon until what I’m guessing will be the early morning hours on Sunday. Maybe we can watch the sunrise from the safety of the front porch! Don’t worry, there will be plenty of hipster music to go around, and if you like reading, I’m sure Nietzsche and Rand can be found somewhere. Don’t forget to check out the Corporate America flag, or the super-hip La Dolce Vita poster at the bottom of the stairs!!! Like art?? The work of Warhol and Pollock are conveniently positioned in collections under the La Dolce Vita poster!!! And who can forget the animal skulls, life-size stuffed goat, and the blood-soaked statue of the Eiffel Tower!!! It’s probably the hippest place ever.

Seriously, though, it’s going to be a great time, and best of birthday wishes go out to Torrid Junglelove and Itty Bitty on their respective special days.