Morton Malaise

Dear Flagger Guy,
It is 510 PM. You are just south of Proctor Hospital on Knoxville. Please DO NOT WAIT UNTIL THE LIGHT AT PROCTOR TURNS GREEN TO PUT YOUR STUPID FUCKING STOP SIGN OUT IN FRONT OF THE SEMI THREE VEHICLES IN FRONT OF ME! Traffic has now backed up through the light because of [...]

Let’s take a trip, you and me. A little trip down a stretch of I-74 between Morton and the 474 interchange. We’ll go west at about 66 miles an hour. It’s rush hour, around 740 in the morning. All of a sudden, during our nice, relaxing drive, a giant cardboard box appears in the middle [...]

Time for all the good boys and girls to run home and lock their doors, because the weekend has arrived. I am nursing a particularly nasty case of hangover/sleep deprivation today, so I will be taking a 45-60 minute nap when I get home. A certain young lady kept me up into the wee hours [...]

A certain blogger I know ran into Matt Crusen, the bar manager at Bar Louie, as well as Travis, the regional manager for Bar Louie, last night at an establishment he is known to frequent. Travis is not happy with the Peoria blogger community, and particularly displeased with Chef Kevin. Same said blogger invited Travis [...]

OK, so has anyone heard for sure where the Blogger Bash is to be held? I still vote for Buffalo Wild Wings. In East Peoria. It’s Countdown night! And Wing Tuesday!

I have iGoogle set up on my machine at work. It’s this deal Google has where you can personalize the main page with news headlines, weather, quotes,etc. I have a “Quotes of the Day” panel. The first quote for today is by F. Scott Fitzgerald: “In a real dark night of the soul it is [...]

Me: “Hey, did you guys know, on this date in 1975, the first episode of Saturday Night Live aired?
Response: “That’s not possible! Today’s not Saturday!”
True story. People are awesome.

Another weekend has come, and not a moment too soon. Tonight I’ll probably get warmed up at the Winchester for a couple of hours, then I’m headed to Christie’s in Washington. JMP is doing some deal there, so Angie and Rob will be out there with Joey D from 102.3. At the stroke of midnight, [...]

Dearly Beloved Cubs,
I know you’re scared. I know you feel like you should play like you did in May and not like you did in July and August. I know your ace pitcher has a terrible temper. I know you couldn’t bring a RISP home if you put home plate on top of second base. [...]

Jesus Christ on a pogo stick. What the fuck was that?!?!?