Morton Malaise

Please do not sneeze on yourself and then grab my bags of food with your dirty hands. Also, try to be a little bit MORE of a bitch when you serve your customers. You chose Avanti’s, not me. If you don’t like it, go work at Panera. Sneeze on some fucking paninis or something. Not [...]

Seriously, this is the Most. Horrifying. PSA. Ever. Hat tip to Deadspin. Incidentally, my comment is about the 4th one down, under the name “Kodak”.

So much has happened I hardly know where to begin. B and I celebrated our 3 month anniversary a week and a half ago, she met the whole family at the same time on Thanksgiving, my computer is extremely sick, and I’m not feeling much better.
The three month wasn’t a big deal. I actually [...]

…have been greatly exaggerated. However, due to severe viral problems with my home computer and less severe problems with my immune system over the past few days, I have been unable to write for quite some time. I will try to make time at lunch today for an entry about the completely whacked out dreams [...]

A while back, I wrote a post about a chance meeting I had with Matt Crusen and Travis from Bar Louie. When I signed on today, I found this rather interesting blurb in que for comment moderation:
Hey guys and gals, my name is Matt Crusen, some of you know me others may not. Regardless I [...]

My friend Andrea made the statement yesterday during the Colts-Patriots NFL-Sports Press Quarterback Cocksucking Festival that Max and I have officially run out of things to talk about, so now we’re just making stuff up and doing everything in our power to annoy people who don’t know us and amuse those who do. Among the [...]