Morton Malaise

I don’t like Winter. I think I have made this abundantly clear to anyone who will listen. This winter has been particularly difficult, and I would like Mr. Frost to know all the grief he has caused me.
1.) You owe me a 17X7 5-spoke aluminum wheel for a 2003 SVT Focus, you assclown. Because [...]

We are now 51 days into the new year, and I find myself getting accustomed to smoking outside. When I leave for the bar, I just have to remember to grab my heavy coat to put on over my long sleeve shirt and hoodie when I step outside. It has definitely made me cut way [...]

Apparently, some strange man named Dick Holloway is now in charge of my blog. Who knew?

Can anyone fill me in on the details of this changeover? Are my email addresses going to change domain names? Are rates going up? Will I have to set up a new news server? The message on the television tells me that I should see something in the mail, but I’ve seen nothing.

So far this month, the following things have happened to me, in no particular order-
Hit a pothole on War Dr, bending my left front rim and forcing me to position the jack while lying in the snow.
Girlfriend broke up with me.
Chain came off the lawn tractor tire, which forced me to shovel a large [...]

Well, the chain on the drive tire of the tractor, which provides the only thing close to traction, came off about 5 minutes into plowing the driveway. I promptly got the tractor stuck on the incline, and it took me about 20 minutes to get it back up the drive. Alas, I had to shovel [...]

Especially when it’s coating the steep driveway of the house I’m staying in and my car can’t get up the driveway unless I go up it in a zigzag pattern. On the bright side, I DO get to plow the driveway using a lawn tractor with a plow blade on the front. I’m pretty pumped [...]