This is another list from McSweeney’s. I think it fits quite well with the EB.

If Horton
Lived in My
Neighborhood.
BY WENDI AARONS

- – - -

Horton Hears a Leaf Blower

Horton Hears a Car Alarm

Horton Hears a Teenager, Who Apparently Doesn’t Believe in Car Mufflers, Driving Way Too Damn Fast

Horton Hears an Ambulance

Horton Hopes It’s for the Teenager

Horton Hears a Basketball Bouncing

Horton Always Hears a Basketball Bouncing

Horton Hears a Basketball Bouncing So Fucking Much That Horton Now Feels Like He’s Living in a Real-Life Version of Poe’s “The Tell-Tale Heart”

Horton Hears an Inner Voice Telling Him to Grab the Basketball

Horton Hears a Middle-Aged Woman Sprinting Down the Street Desperately Clutching Onto the Basketball and Laughing Maniacally

Horton Hears the Basketball Being Angrily Stuffed Down the Neighborhood Storm Drain

Horton Hears Rumors of a Lawsuit