Morton Malaise

Plus a short video of the Avett Brothers. You can find them here. Not as good as last year, but they’ll do I suppose.

…have been lost to the Gods of the Interwebs. My first post that got a link from outside the BlogPeoria realm has been lost. Forever. Boo.

Update: Thanks to the wonders of Google Reader, I Do Not Know Me has saved my post from the nether regions of the InterTUBES. Bravo, sir. Bravo.

There will be more to come regarding Summercamp, and there will also be many pictures. I just wanted to share with all of you a few very important things I learned at Summercamp 2008:

1.) Remember where your car is parked. If you don’t, you could very well spend 30-45 minutes wandering around in a deluge trying to find it.

2.)If you’re the staff of Summercamp, you should probably wait until AFTER the closest lightning and hardest blowing winds to evacuate the grounds.

3.) If you put a rainfly on a tent upside-down, water will seep through it. I had no idea.

4.) Bring a wagon. Lugging 80-100 pounds of gear almost a mile on Monday is probably the most miserable experience ever.

5.) When sleeping in your car because the grounds have been evacuated, and even if they weren’t, the inside of your tent is drenched anyway, the front driver’s seat probably isn’t the most comfortable place in the car to sleep. And you may want to change out of those wet clothes before falling asleep so you don’t wake up shivering.

6.) The Flaming Lips is the most incredible live show you will ever see. Ever.

Does quoting myself make me narcissistic?

Would anyone be interested in doing another half-term Blogger Bash, around the first couple weeks of June? I don’t know if I can go 3 whole months without seeing all of your sneering, skeptical faces!

Summercamp is but a short 48 hours away. There are so many bands I’m looking forward to seeing this year. Among them are Parliament Funkadelic, Clutch, OAR (Yeah, I like them, and no, I’m not a poser or a sellout or a frat boy), Flaming Lips, moe. (of course), Backyard Tire Fire, Chicago Afrobeat Project, STS9, Umphrey’s McGee, Waterstreet, Cornmeal, Blind Melon, Groovatron, G Love & Special Sauce, The Roots, The Macpodz, and a few others. I really hope I don’t end up running around trying not to miss anything so much that I miss everything.

There is a deer that has been split in half on the south side of westbound I-74 between Morton and East Peoria. One half is on the shoulder next to a massive bloodstain on the pavement, while the other half is about 200 yards down the road with entrails hanging out. It would be nice if IDOT could get to that one. It’s been there for about a week I think. I have a pretty strong stomach, but this animal is seriously one of the most vile things I’ve ever seen. The first day it was there, I had to move all the way to the right side of the lane to avoid getting intestines flung into my wheelwell. So, IDOT, how about it? Just this one? It’s only a few miles from the Morton station. It’s seriously awful.

The wind changed.
The wind that cooled my back
Changed to the wind that cooled my face.
She done gone changed.
A cool northwest
Turned into a cold
Southeast. And she
scared the
Hell
Out of me.
She blew the dust off my eyes,
And chilled the warmth off my legs,
And woke me from
A deep sleep.

She swirled,
and swirled,
and swirled until that big glass of beer was empty.

She stood on her own windy legs
And told me to stand on MY
two legs, and
Go home.
Go home and don’t burn this beautiful weekend on
Booze
And desperate souls and
That funny disparaging laugh that
You do when
You’re making excuses to
Stay out later, and
Later,
And later.

That cool Northwest changed
to a cold Southeast,
And she blew me home.

IDOT has come out and said that they will only be attending to repairs and maintenance that involve public safety, such as painting(?!). Because of rising fuel prices and poor budgeting over the winter, certain other things are going to be neglected.

Among the examples sited in the PJS of services that will be neglected is pothole repair. Since when did potholes become NOT a public safety issue?? Speaking as someone who has blown several tires and destroyed one of my wheels in the forbidding chasms known as Peoria potholes, they most certainly are a public safety issue of the highest order. What happens the first time someone blows a tire in a pothole, flips their car, and kills 3 kids in their vehicle? Will it become a public safety issue then? Or when a semi hits a potoholethat pulls it into the adjacent lane, sideswiping several vehicles. How about then?

People will only tolerate their vehicles being destroyed (and repaired at their own expense) for so long before IDOT will start being held responsible for the obstacle course we all drive every day. If they think they’re in a budget crunch now, wait until that first wrongful death lawsuit comes around.

YOU FUCKING SUCK! How in the fresh Hell can you have that much talent on one team and suck SO FUCKING BAD?!?! I can’t even come up with the profane language to explain to you how frustrating it is to watch you suck so damn bad. This was supposed to be one of the best lineups of all time. How dare you build me up so much in the preseason just to tear me down like this? You FUCKING SUCK!

I have lived on the 2nd of 3 floors in my apartment building for something like 4 years. Our building has always been the quiet one, and the tenants that have been here the longest have always taken pride in our serenity. (Some of you may not believe that I could possibly do anything quietly. That’s because I save up all my loudness for when I’m not at home.) As of late, two of the three veteran tenants, one of whom lived above me and the other next door, have moved out. I am the third. Apparently, the apartment above me has been occupied by a pair of elephants with a set of toy bricks they enjoy tossing around at all hours of the night.

I understand that during the process of moving in to a new home, furniture has to be arranged, heavy things are going to be set down, and people might fall over stuff on the floor. However, I personally don’t remember EVER moving someone into a new home and finding it necessary to move a wall unit, a couch, a bed frame, and my set of toy bricks at the same time. Especially when this time is midnight.

Oh yeah. I almost forgot. The elephants have a stereo that only works after 9 PM. How they can use a stereo without thumbs I don’t quite understand. It must be those amazing trunks.

Update: One of the married women in my office raised an alternate story. She thinks that maybe the couple above me have been banging all over the new apartment. I have a hard time thinking that any woman, no matter how freaky, would be slamming the floor that hard and not screaming loud enough for the whole building to hear. Any of you ladies have some input on this one?

5
5 dollar
5 dollar footlongs

*SHRIEK OF HORROR*