Morton Malaise

I stumbled across a quote from John le Carre the other day that I wanted to share. It’s oddly depressing and inspirational at the same time.

“Coming home from very lonely places, all of us go a little mad: whether from great personal success, or just an all-night drive, we are the sole survivors of a world no one else has ever seen.”

I really, really don’t want any ringtones. No Dinosaur Ringtones, no Christian Ringtones, no Samsung Ringtones, no Green Eggs Ringtones, no Ham Ringtones. I could try to list all the different types of ringtones I’ve been offered, but I don’t think there’s enough room on the server. So, seriously, I’m really OK ringtone-wise. Thanks though. Seriously.

DROP OUT BEFORE YOU RUIN ANY CHANCE YOUR PARTY MIGHT HAVE TO WIN THE GENERAL ELECTION, YOU SELFISH, STUBBORN BITCH!

So, if they suspend the gas tax for the summer, who’s to say the distributors aren’t going to raise their prices, effectively nullifying the tax holiday? The way they gouge and ass-rape the public at every turn, I can honestly say I can see it happening, more likely than not. Maybe that’s why Senator Obama doesn’t support it. Oh, and Clinton and McCain are surely guilty of the worst degree of pandering for even raising the subject. As a registered member of a party that doesn’t start with a D or an R, I really don’t have a preference from the Dems or Republicans. I do know I’m sick of politicians pretending the American people are total retards, and that we can be manipulated with fun words like “gas tax holiday” and “sniper fire”. Does anybody really fall for this bullshit? Seriously? While I do have more than a slight intelligence advantage on a large majority of the population, it really scares me that the political machine has reduced us all to sheep marching to the slaughter.

U2- Rattle and Hum 2 record set 1988, used from Co-Op Records in EP near mint for $7. Track listing:
Helter Skelter
Van Diemen’s Land
Desire
Hawkmoon 269
All Along the Watchtower
I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For
Freedom for my People
Silver and Gold
Pride (In the Name of Love)
Angel of Harlem
Love Rescue Me
When Loves Comes to Town
Heartland
God Part II
The Star Spangled Banner
Bullet the Blue Sky
All I Want is You

I almost forgot how delicious vinyl sounds. Digital recordings will never match the warmth of a record. Period.

May 1st.

The Red Wings win 8-2(!) over the Avalanche to sweep the series and move on to the Western Conference Finals.

The Tigers sweep a 3-game series at Yankee Stadium for the first time since 1966. Al Kaline says hello.

The Pistons defeat the 76er’s to move on to the Eastern Conference semifinals.

Wayne State wins the Rose Bowl over USC by two touchdowns. (I made this one up.)

-Gynecology is a very awkward division of medicine.

-Those little Dove chocolates are only 1 Weight Watcher point.

-Some women do, in fact, shave their toes. I find this mildly repulsive.

-Rick Springfield is hot. Even now that he’s washed up and the only time anyone ever hears “Jesse’s Girl” is from cover bands in Peoria bars.

-Making statements designed solely to elicit an angry tirade from women is both very easy and very entertaining.

-Paying someone a small compliment goes a long way towards making my day easier.

-Middle-aged women listen to really, really, really terrible music.

-Kohl’s is having a sale.

-They’re all perfect and every event in their life is WAAAAY more important than anything else that has happened, EVER.

-Every minor and major life event of every living celebrity.

-Little kids are evil, they get sick a lot, and it’s OK to have an unplanned absence because of them, but GOD FORBID I call in sick, because I have no right because I have no kids or responsibilities and all I do is drink and party all the time.

-People with kids are jealous of single people.

-Everything I never really wanted to know about ex-husbands, including the size of their penis and their tendencies when it comes to oral and vaginal sex.