I don’t normally blog about stuff I read in the paper, but I have to today. Some whack job wrote in to The Fishwrap That is the Peoria Journal Star and said the Americans who applauded Barack Obama should be ashamed because he supports the homosexual lifestyle, abortion, and redistribution of wealth, and therefore is Godless. O NOES! TEH POORZ CAN HAZ MY MUNEE?! HE IZ AUNTY CRIEST! Wasn’t it Jesus who brought the fish to the party and everyone ate it? And the whole help your fellow man, meek shall inherit the earth thing? What was that all about? Apparently, this crazy fucker thinks Christ was crucified because he was a board member for AT&T when the monopoly got busted. I don’t know what church Batshit McBatshiterson belongs to, but instead of unleavened bread and wine for communion, I’m pretty sure they give out stock options and a little spot on the water in the Hamptons. The heaven I go to might have pearly gates and golden fleeces, but if there’s a bunch of Michael-Douglas-in-Wall-Street-looking douchebags driving Ferraris and getting blowjobs from overpriced Park Avenue hookers, I’m fucking leaving. Well, maybe after I drive a Ferrari or 10. And the blowjobs in Heaven are probably pretty good. But that’s not the point. It’s a damn good thing all us Christians aren’t this crazy, RENO.