Morton Malaise

1.) An affair
2.) Travelling for business
3.) On vacation
4.) Change of scenery
5.) To eat hummus and grapes

Now, this is spring. 70-80 degrees and sunny. It’s about damn time! I look forward to a full weekend of doing outdoors stuff. Like sitting outside drinking, cooking out and drinking, rolling the windows down in the car and drinking, maybe even washing the car and drinking! Huzzah!

I challenge anyone out there to present ANY empirical evidence showing that closing some Peoria schools and consolidating is a BAD idea. Peoria does NOT need as many schools as it has. Period. As far as I know, there are no high schools in Peoria with enrollments greater than 1000 people. I believe the smaller ones have 500. This is a Waste. Of. Money. And. Real. Estate. While I don’t expect kids to be forced into portable cities like the Palm Beach County schools I attended in the 80’s and 90’s, there is no reason why enrollment can’t be doubled in some of the schools. The following responses/comments or their ilk are not acceptable answers and will be disparaged accordingly:

“I went there and it’s not fair they’re closing MY school.” Guess what? The school you remember from 20 years ago IS NOW A SHITHOLE. District 150 can’t afford the upkeep for all the outdated facilities.

“But what about the kids in XXX neighborhood who will be forced to go to school with the HORRIBLE kids from YYY neighborhood?” Get over it. That’s how kids learn to socialize with different types of people, to stand up for themselves, and myriad other life lessons. The ‘neighborhood’ schools are probably one of the largest reasons for the city being racially segregated like it is.

“The schools are the hearts of the neighborhood.” Bullshit. The only time you ever hear “school” and “neighborhood” in the same sentence when they’re not tearing one down is when someone says, ‘Those damn kids at that school are littering/loitering/trespassing/ejaculating/dealing drugs all over our nice, quiet neigborhood.’

“Our city won’t be the same with fewer schools.” Exactly. It will be better.

Know what? Fuck it. Go ahead and put another .25% tax on yourselves. Call it the “Give the School Board Another Raise and Fuck the Kids” tax referendum.

New link in the sidebar to Radio Faction. Jason Ellis is the Future of Talk Radio. Red Dragons.

PLEASE DO NOT BYPASS THE MODERATION QUEUE. THANK YOU.

My life has been changed eternally for the better. I have fallen madly in love with a wonderful, beautiful, sensual woman who, for reasons I try to grasp every day, has fallen madly in love with me. She can look at me from across a room and make my knees buckle. She kisses me and I forget every trouble life throws at me. I wake every morning and see her eyes smiling at me, and I go to sleep every night with her arms around me. She is everything I have ever wanted, and I’m not afraid to say it. I love her.

OK, who is arriving at my blog by searching “Morton Malaise” on Yahoo?

I need to say a few things before I dive into this. Firstly, I am not going to remember every single spice and reduction with which my meal was served, and I can’t reference the menu like SOME PEOPLE because the entree I ate has been removed. Secondly, I feel the company and environment are just as important as the food in a restaurant. Thirdly, it takes a lot of balls to take a free dinner at a decent restaurant and not tip the server. Finally, I’m not good at this. Not at all. Now, moving on.

On March 26th, Peoria-area bloggers were invited to a dinner at Two25, the restaurant now occupying the ground floor of the Mark Twain hotel. Since everything about the food has already been covered by the lovely and talented PH, I don’t find it necessary to go over every detail of the meal. I will say this: A few bites of the salad tasted dirty, like the lettuce had not been cleaned properly. The escargot had a bit too much garlic. The veal was slightly chewy close to the bone, and the bone was slightly splintered at the tip. I don’t expect to pay that kind of money for a piece of veal and have to spit out pieces of bone.

Other than these small gripes, the meal was excellent. The beer list was absolutely outstanding, which is not something I expected to see. The service was the best I’ve ever received in a large group. The waiter, Sam, was extremely attentive without being intrusive. The decorating was tasteful and simple without any hint of pretentiousness.

My complaint about the menu is similar to PH’s. They’re trying too hard to do too many things at once. “Jack of all trades, master of none” is a phrase that immediately came to mind. The menu should be shorter and more focused. Also, they need to work on the desserts. A restaurant in the Heights where I recently dined had similar menu prices with a MUCH better dessert menu.

I suspect Two25 can do well if they pare down the menu a bit, develop some better desserts, and bring the prices in line with the foods they’re serving.

It’s been about a month since I’ve posted. I have a serious case of writer’s block. I owe Two25 a review, I owe the Build the Block people a big Shove Your Fucking Museum Up Your Ass While I Forcefeed You a Dead Whore’s Labia, and I really owe it to myself to write something. I’ll try later when I’m drunk. Fuck.